All Falls Down by Morgen Ayden K

Author:Morgen, Ayden K. [Morgen, Ayden K.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2014-10-31T16:00:00+00:00

I cry until my throat is raw and my head hurts.

The sun's moved on. Shadows fall across the bed. I lay in Jared's arms, but I'm still cold and numb.

I just want to curl up in a ball and die.

"Don't," Jared says. He shifts around, turning my face up to his. His face is a thundercloud, his eyes blazing with a mixture of anger, fear, and grief. He looks desolate, broken. "Don't ever say that."

I didn't know I had. I stare up at him. Just stare.

I'm not suicidal. I'm just tired. God, I'm so fucking tired.

"We'll deal with this, Savannah," he says again, shaking my shoulders a little to punctuate the seriousness of his words. "We'll deal with this, but don't give up on me now. Don't give up on us now. If you love me… just don't." His voice breaks a little at the end. He's pleading with me, and I don't know what to say to him.

"How?" I finally ask. How do we deal with this? The big secret is out. Lexi knows about us and is pissed. Toby's here. Everything bad just keeps coming at us, and I don't know what to do. All of this happening at once is fate. It's what I deserve for letting myself forget that I'm just the maid's daughter.

"We just do."

He makes it sound so simple.

The sun will rise. Night will fall. We'll deal.

Can it really be that easy? We just deal? We survive, fight, and make this all better? Make Lexi understand that we're not a threat to her? That our relationship isn't going to get her and the girls or anyone else hurt? Make Toby disappear?

I want that. I want it so bad, it gives me strength.

"Have you ever read Invictus?" I ask Jared.

He frowns, confused. His hold on my arms slackens a little. "What?"

"Invictus," I say again.

"What are you–?"

"In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud," I recite before he can ask me if I've gone insane. Maybe I have. Maybe. "Under the bludgeoning of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed."

Jared just stares at me.

"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul," I whisper to him.

Just once, I want to be in control of what happens to me.

His expression clears as understanding dawns. He pulls me to him, kissing me hard.

"I love you," he whispers against my lips.

I settle against his chest again, curling into him. I am the master of my fate, I tell myself, chanting it over and over until my head droops and a yawn cracks my lips.

"We will deal with this," he says softly.

It sounds like he's trying to convince himself, too.

I fall asleep in his arms, praying he's right.

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